To some lucky ones, changing their hairstyle is an exciting, fun, and even enjoyable experience. However, for others, the whole process is riddled with fear, anxiety, and tension. Few of them never even make it to the salon chair because they are not able to get past the what if? stage. So, what exactly is it that virtually cripples some people and why does it happen to them at all?
There are many key contributing factors that result in this negative behaviour but there is always one key emotion that drives those people into avoiding something new or making any kind of changes altogether.
Here are some common emotional drivers that prevent people from going for a hairstyle change e.g. from long hairstyles to a pixie cut or any other change in general.
Emotional Drivers of Avoiding Hairstyle Makeovers
Fear itself is not always a bad thing if it motivates you to act in a constructive way, such as to get out of the way of the train coming towards you! Or when a lion is about to eat you! The funny thing here is how many of us have actually ever had this happen to us? It would seem then that most common fears people have, are things of a much lesser magnitude. But let me assure you this: they may seem as bad as being eaten by a Polar Bear, but more often than not, they aren’t!
As human beings, we all strive to be accepted and to a degree gain the approval of others. Some people are an exception to this, but on the whole and on a subconscious level, human nature is such that it encourages us to fit in and to be accepted. It is this very fear of not being accepted or approved of by others that plays an important role in people not being able to change and navigate new territories, even non-threatening ones such as new hairstyles.
Many people long for certainty in their lives, wanting to be certain or in control of everything that happens to them. The feeling of trying something new, something that is unknown scares the living daylights out of them because, well… What if?
Now, you probably know somebody just like this that you tried to be rational around, but they always had the what if ready for you as their answer.
Something that I say to these people is IF my aunty has a sex change, she will become my uncle, meaning if or when it happens and the chances are pretty slim, then it will be what it is, and we will deal with that then.
If you are one of those people that wants to be certain of your new makeover before you have it done, you can try a few things. Here are some tips up my sleeve:
1. Try on a Virtual Hairstyle
The graphics and colours are really good nowadays, and this will go a long way to helping you see in your mind’s eye what the outcome will look like (close enough). Switching from curly hairstyles to straight hairstyle, or changing the colours of your hair, virtual hairstyle apps can be immensely helpful.
2. Take Baby Steps!
Do your makeover in small increments of change, a little bit today, and a little more cut off in the next salon visit. This way you’ll have control over and a basic idea on how the hairstyle is turning out to be and whether you’d like to stop or request any modifications mid-way. If you are planning for short hairstyles, don’t go all in, rather push it over few salon visits.
Being in control is a little like perfectionism. You never ever achieve this state because how can you control what other people are doing, saying, and most of all, thinking? More to the point, if you are going to a hairstylist for their expertise then how can you possibly control what happens in the chair?
I have had clients micromanage everything to the last detail, asking me to show their hair at the back using a back mirror during the whole process: what length I am cutting off the ends, why I am picking hair up a certain way, how long it would take, what it will look like when it’s done, just to name a few.
My advice is to relax, enjoy the moment, take a little chance, maybe slowly, but to embrace a little variety and change, because this is what makes us feel great. After all, progress equals happiness, isn’t it?
There’s seriously no reason for you not to get that amazing hairstyle makeover.
So how do you know if you suffer from this new hairstyle syndrome?
You need to ask yourself what exactly it is that concerns you about getting a new hairstyle. Over the years I have dealt with many clients and have found some of the following reasons to be top of the list.
Reasons for Not Taking the Plunge
That a Hairstyle Is Irreversible (Cannot Be Changed Back)
Here people are fearful of change and what it represents. It is easy to never venture outside one’s comfort zone for fear of failure, or in this case, not going back to the accepted level. For what it’s worth, you don’t need to worry, since most hairstyling services are reversible. On the off chance that you don’t like your new hairstyle, here’s the news: your natural hair will grow back!
That They May Not Like It After It’s Done
Fear of the unknown or unseen is by far one of the strongest negative emotions that affects people all over the world in every facet of life. There is of course a chance that your new short hairstyle will not be liked at first, but also there is a very strong possibility that you may love the new look if you have a positive, realistic approach, and you have taken precautionary steps to ensure that risk is minimized.
That a Partner/Family/Friends May Not Approve of It after It’s Done
This fear of not being accepted or approved of can be mentally paralyzing. A way around this is to show your partner/family or friends some pictures (on your own face would be best) of some new hairstyle ideas, whether you are aiming for long hairstyles or short before venturing into a salon. This will save shocking them later. Just remember, the bottom line is if you change your hairstyle, do it for the right reasons and do it for you!
That It May Ruin Their Hair
This is the one time when being fearful is not a bad thing if it motivates you to react in a positive manner. You need to steer clear from “home job” hairdressing where chemicals or techniques that are used could ruin your hair. Instead, always first consult with and only ever allow a fully trained professional hairstylist to perform any service to your hair.
A Past Bad Hairstyle Experience Means That It Will Happen Again
Although understandable, don’t allow bad hairstyle experiences to stop you from trying something new. Instead, try to assess why and how it actually happened and what part you played (if any) to avoid it from happening again. The odds are actually in your favour that it wouldn’t happen again.
The list goes on and on, and I have only listed just some of the main reasons why many people are so frightened to ever change their hairstyle from straight to curly hairstyles or from long hairstyle to a short haircut. If you have a good look at the list there is a very good chance that any one, or a combination of the above, can happen to you when you have a hairstyle change.
In my opinion, there are far too many reasons and positive outcomes that are achievable from hairstyling changes that completely outweigh the negative. The good news is that using positive thoughts and actions involving carefully thought-out planning, consulting, and strategies can almost completely eliminates any hairstyling disasters.
While all of the above can most definitely happen, what may also happen is –
You will end up with a brand-new hairstyle, a remarkable hair colour, and of course an incredible makeover that makes you look and FEEL amazing.
Now, who doesn’t want some of that?